Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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