I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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