he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
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Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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