my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize