you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize