My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
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There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
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So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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