Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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