My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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