I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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