i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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