God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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