there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
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I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
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I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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