its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
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We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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