Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
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drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
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I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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