yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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