some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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