Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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