YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize