Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
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I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
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Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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