I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
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hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
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It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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