My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize