the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize