After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
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