I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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