You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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