your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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