You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
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Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
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