Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
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I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
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They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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