I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
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I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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