i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize