College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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