so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
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