worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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