the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
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