i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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