Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
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