He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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