When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize