Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
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you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
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Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
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