I think I won the penis lottery.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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