Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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