I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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