Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
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Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
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We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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