Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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