And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
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