i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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