That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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