Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize