your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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