I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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